nimarkiva:

matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:

whiskey-and-a-wry-smile:

razorlightt:

jennitheodd:

gh0stcity:

gh0stcity:

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

I worked as a babysitter and a live-in nanny to an awesome family, three of the cutest kids. And I pulled the biggest trick on them to ease their fears of their old home. It did make a lot of noises, and it was creepy to them.

Two of them did not want to go to their own beds- there were monsters there! I told them not to fret, those monsters were pets of the Boogey Man. And I was his best friend. It’s why the good kids had nothing to be afraid of…but did they hear about the Harris kid down the street? They said no, and I said of course they hadn’t, he had been a terrible kid and hadn’t done a thing I’d told him to do, or that his parents said. (In all actuality, there really had never been a child down the street, but they didn’t know that.) So if they were good kids, I’d make sure that the Boogey Man knew not to mess with them. Heck, his monsters would be their personal guards if they were well-behaved for me.

I pulled out a phone when they didn’t believe me, showed them the number which was listed as “Boogey Man”, and confidently had a chat with my ‘best bud’ about the kids being well-behaved for me, and hey, about those guard monsters, they were there to keep the kids safe because they were good for me, right? (In all reality, I was just talking to my phone, but because it was in as a number, it ‘rang’ like an actual call for a few moments, the kids totally bought it.)

So I told them every night I watched them that they’d been awesome, and the Boogey Man was keeping them safe, his pet monsters, too. The old house noises became reassuring, comforting, and they all slept in their own beds from that night on. (This is also what got me the job, since I had done this on my first night.)

Confidence is everything. I even sold their own parents, who didn’t believe in the Boogey Man or monsters under the bed any more, on this. “Oh, I’m so glad that the monsters are- wait- there are no monsters under the bed. You’ve got even me buying into this!”

Seriously, you can do anything as long as you are confident, no lie. XD

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