taranoire:

bring-your-rae-game:

– I hope your refrigerator goes out in the middle of the night when no one is around to notice.

– I hope you get into a minor car accident and you’re at fault.

– I hope you spill your coffee on your pants.

– I hope your pet runs away and gets adopted by a loving family because you don’t deserve the love of a pet.

– I hope your favorite cafe messes up your order.

– I hope you lock yourself out of your car.

– I hope your phone battery dies in the middle of an important phone call.

– I hope you get a hole in your favorite pair of socks.

– I hope you spend the day craving that last brownie, only to find out that someone else ate it already.

– I hope your car runs out of gas.

– I hope all the clocks in your house are off by 30 minutes so you’re late to everything for a week.

– I hope you lose your left shoe.

– I hope you step on a lego.

– I hope you lose a button in the middle of your favorite button-up shirt.

– I hope you get a crack in your glasses.

– I hope your hot water goes out.

– I hope the handle breaks off your car’s driver’s side door and you have to crawl in from the passenger’s side every time you need to go somewhere.

– I hope the next time you fly somewhere, you miss your flight because you were held up in customs.

– I hope your tap water smells like sulfur for a month.

– I hope your favorite TV show is canceled.

– I hope you get dropped by your internet provider.

– I hope you have a bad hair day. Every day.

– I hope your phone autocorrects a very important text message.

– I hope you wet your pants.

A++++