The disastrous Australian Emu War.
Someone turned it into a comic. YES.
never forget the emu war
My favourite part of this entire post is the final pic listing the human casualties and losses in the Emu war as “10 000 rounds of ammo.” and “Dignity.”
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits.
Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses.
Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this?
Reblogging for that last exchange.
OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!
Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.
The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.
Australia is a fucking weird place
What the fuck typa dogs they got in France?
back in my day we didn’t call it “shitposting”, we called it “nightblogging” and blamed the australians
I’ve been on this god forsaken website for too long.
ok there is a difference between nightblogging and shitposting
nightblogging is like “what if apples screamed when we bit them?”
shitposting is like “a crisp one donger bill”. nightblogging has more of a focus on theoreticals, especially in stating absurd thoughts in normal ways. shit posting is more often the opposite, stating normal things in ways that make them absurd. “a crisp one dollar bill” isn’t funny or unusual, but replacing “dollar” with the absurdist internet word “donger” is what makes it funny & thus a shitpost. it’s not necessarily that one is more coherent, but that they’re differentiated both by form and by lexicon. nightblogging is surrealism, shitposting is dada
that makes so much sense, i understood all of it, completely and totally changed my views of thinking
thx academic tumblr & artistic tumblr here’s a donger i bit it 4 u
Things that all started when someone stole a loaf of bread:
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
Seagulls steal our food sometimes… an crap on you occasionally but apart from that yeah…
MY DAD GAVE ME A GOLDEN GAYTIME IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
I DIDNT REALISE HOW THIS MIGHT SOUND TO NON-AUSTRALIANS IM REALLY SORRY
Reminds me of the time I came across an LJ comm called “radicalbris”. It’s for people who live in Brisbane and have far-left political views, but to a Jewish person a different thought entirely occurred.