Frantic science guy: it’s not ready yet! White guy with gravelly voice: it’s going to have to be Frantic science guy: *looks nervously at doodles on page*
I’m getting so disgusted with shitty movies and other commercial fiction getting adulation and money and the stupid media carrying on about how brilliant these crappy creations are. I mean, magazines and talk shows are corporate shills, these articles carry on about how wonderful Arrested Development or something is because the magazines and the tv shows are owned by the same company, not because they believe it. But I’m just so fed up I’m starting to wonder if I should try to make it a rule not to pay for movies or tv shows beyond my Netflix membership.
Oh, it’s futile, I know. I just wish there was some way to stop them from generating so much shit AND getting paid for it.
Yeah. After Thor 2, Marvel went right on making shitty movies full of male superheroes. They’re even making a Thor 3 which looks like it’ll be almost as bad as the second one.
You know how in action movies the main guy is always like “Yeah I’ve got a contact here in Uzbekistan that owes me a favor” for no discernible reason but it occurred to me that like that’s basically what internet friends are like if I was in that situation I’d be like “Yeah don’t worry leave it to me. I’ve got a mutual in the Netherlands whose selfie I reblogged one time.”
No but seriously though. You know that trope where there’s some ordinary dude who gets pulled into a web of intrigue by some badass sexy lady and then ends up being even better at stuff than the lady? Imagine that reversed. Imagine some English Lit grad student with a huge fandom tumblr accidentally witnesses a crime and some badass spy dude shows up and is like “your life is in danger, you have to come with me, and now that you’re involved you might as well help us track down the bad guys” and it’s funny because she’s not at all an action type but then he’s like “well it looks like the bad guys are doing something devious in New Zealand, better set up camp in an abandoned mine shaft” and she’s all “No wait, I totally know someone there who always tags me in reblogs about my obscure OTPs, she would 1000% let us use her place, look I already fanmailed her” and then later he’s like “Oh, we found the bad guy camp in rural Sweden but there’s no time for backup to arrive from our base before their evil plan goes down!” and she’s like “Oh hold up, did you say Sweden, because I defs know someone from there and they always leave super supportive replies on my personal posts and they will definitely have my back, give me a sec to send them an ask” and the dude is like “HOW DO YOU HAVE A BETTER INTERNATIONAL NETWORK OF ALLIES THAN ME”
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