Truly amazing advice.
First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking dinner
It is a new dog
@byk23, can you, please, have Will return my dog? I introduced her to the gang yesterday and Will seems to think she was a gift. I may need some tranq darts to get her back.
Fannibals, this is Chesapeake Rey. Chesapeake Rey, this is everyone.
The “Rey” part of her name is an homage to hey homecoming on Star Wars day.
The Chesapeake Pupper. A vicious maneater.
She does like visiting the sanctuary animals. Maybe we’ll work out joint custody.
We made Will give her back
Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you and find nourishment at the very sight of you?
It took me long enough, but it just now occurred to me that Bedelia’s choice of words – stab, hunger, nourishment – was probably pointed.
And Hannibal doesn’t have to actually eat Will to be “nourished” by him. The very sight of Will would nourish him.
Will: *obscure pretentious metaphor*
Bedelia: *passive aggressive question*
Will: *answers passive aggressive question with an even more passive aggressive question*
Bedelia: *hannigram innuendo*
Will: *.exe has stopped working*
Imagine a scene
where Hannibal is talking about highly intellectual stuff being super important in front of his people, when Will just randomly shows up, ruffles Hannibal’s hair and walks off without saying a word.
That’s one way to shut him up
Hahaha 😂😂 i love this! thank you!😍 @byk23
So adorable! 😍Imagine Hannipenguin trying for revenge. I can’t even~😂
@rosentanne Reckoning backfired
Margarine as lube…I just…
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
BUT MARGARINE IS DISGUSTING WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT UP YOUR ASS?!
THAT LEADS TO WEIRD SMELLS AND INFECTIONS!
I feel like this needs to be a fic. A fic where Will tries to fuck Hannibal in the kitchen but all he has is Margarine. Will figures ‘what the hell’ and tries to use it.
Hannibal is aghast. Instead of a spontaneous romp over the counter, Will is treated to a 45 minute lecture on the benefits of organic non-salted butter, for cooking and fucking.
Will would have to purposely buy the margarine. I could see him doing it just so Hannibal would have a fainting spell and lecture him before throwing it away.
Will of course, rescues it for the sole purpose of lube.
Or no! He purposely gets rid of all lube products so they HAVE to fish the margarine out of the trash.
Sure they’re both gonna crosseyed after the sex but Hannibal is still gonna spend 3 hours scrubbing the stuff off him and Will.
This is Hannibal Lecter we’re talking about.
He would curl his lip slightly at Will’s margarine, march out of the house, drive to a nearby field, return with a bucket of milk, separate the cream, produce a 17th century butter churn from the trunk of the Bentley and have organic grade butter lube ready by nightfall, with enough left over to use on the scones he’ll bake fresh in the morning.
He would churn the butter shirtless to get Will all hot and bothered.
Will would be more bothered, not by the fact that Hannibal had a butter churn, but that he kept it stashed in the Bentley.
I mean…WHY WOULD HANNIBAL NEED TO SUDDENLY CHURN FUCKING BUTTER?
Then would remember, it’s Hannibal “Drama King and Show Off Extraordinaire” Lecter. What other reason is needed?
Plus shirtless Hannibal, chest fur matted and skin slightly damp and glistening…
Look who made it better!
Tell me, does Hannipenguin travel with a churn for all butter emergencies?
But seriously…why WOULD he keep a butter churn in the Bentley?
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Personal Lubricant
@messy-scandinoodle wtf is wrong with this fandom
We are a dark and sophisticated fandom
Well time to share this again
It IS time to bring this back. But now i’ve got questions. How is it 25% more free? As opposed to regular non-free butthole.
BUT WHY WOULD HANNIBAL HAVE A 17TH CENTURY BUTTER CHURN IN HIS BENTLEY?!
OOOOhhhhh….i see. So i get an extra ¼ of a butthole. But how would that work? Do i get to choose which 25% i want? Or is it like a time share thing and i get the butthole mondays and every alternate thursdays
Always reblog. Because of cultural interest in old Lithuanian customs, of course.
Because modern day butter churns look like this, right? (Wonder if Hannibal watched this and then decided to keep his trusted Lithuanian churn?)
This post escalated quickly 😂
I have not much reference in these characters but hey while margarine is at times quite gross it doesn’t have implications that a certain other greasy spread in kitchens. Like crisco… that can be concerning. I mean unless fisting is your thing.
Hannibal Lecter is a pretentious, emotionally constipated snob wrapped in bespoke plaid.
Tagged by @the-winnowing-wind
OH MAH GAADDDD
@and—kaylee-ilwl LOOK AT THIS
LOOK AT THE CUTENESS
My heart is pounding so hard….. Ahhhhhhhhhh this fandom is endless amazing awesome OMG
Bringing this back cuz it kills me every time
I feel like i should reblog this once in a while for new followers