things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:
- “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
- “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
- “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
- “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
- referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
- “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
- “what are they gonna do, fire me?”
FACT OF THE DAY: the reason why you can’t dig a hole through the earth and come up on the other side is because your shovel would melt. that’s it. that’s the only reason.
what if you bring a second shovel that you put in the fridge beforehand to make it cold
yeah that’ll work
underappreciated form of humor: using incorrect long forms of proper names i.e. Craigory, Bobert, Barold, etc.
When English isn’t taught correctly…
Check this bellend who doesnae ken that Scots, and indeed all “improper” dialects an accents ay English, arenae incompatible wi intelligence oar eloquence ay expression
(I mean, the original post insnae exactly the most poetic ay thoughts, but neither’s fuckin off tae bed wioot gien yer mate a cover, whit the fuck’s wrang wi you, were you raised in a fuckin shed)
Scottish Tumblr ™ came through
Cassettes had side A and side B, therefore it was kind of logical its succesor would be the CD.