Yeah like the struggle of existing as a lesbian in the world, as opposed to just a feminine woman. I feel also like femmes get a lot of opposite-side-of-the-coin stuff to what butches get – hypersexualized and harassed, perceived as just in need of a man – because of the idea that femmes are weak-willed and really seeking men and can be “turned straight” at minor provocation. Like where butches are the lesbian “challenge,” femmes are assumed to be lesbians up for easy grabs.
the price to me is wanting to be seen as beautiful but only by women. it’s a balancing act. I want to feel pretty, I don’t want to attract the wrong kind of attention.
When I came out in the 90′s, there was TONS of pressure throughout the Lesbian community to be butch. You’re not a real Lesbian if you carry a purse, you’re trying to appeal to men by wearing makeup, etc. I’m so glad there’s more acceptance of variety in the Lesbian community now.
I do wish there was a way to signal to men “this pretty dress is not for you, look at someone else”. 😉