So HERE’S some dash magic
okay i have a loki question
how the fuck did odin sneak him into asgard?
like, heimdall saw that shit right? odin comes back through the bifrost and heimdall is just “…………….”
heimdall: that’s a baby
odin: yes! he’s my son! ………..loki. i’m going to dress him in green and black, because that worked great last time
or odin comes back and is trying to figure out, how to play it, and heimdall and frigga are just waiting for him and completely deadpan
frigga: ah, husband! you have returned from war in time to meet your newborn son. who i had. after being pregnant. secretly.
loki: *baby noises*
honestly, i just need heimdall going up to frigga like “you won’t believe what your husband just did”
odin: he’s a replacement for the child I had to lock away in the shadow realm.
odin: I’ll do better by this one. I know I will.
heimdall: You mean Frigga will.
Odin: Please can we keep it? It’s cute and changes colours and smiles at my empty eye socket. I promise I’ll take care of it I’ll feed it every week and I’ll dress it in green and black and I’ll teach it to throw knives and it will be great!
Heimdall: Frigga, he stole a baby. Say something.
THIS IS THE BEST THING
I like to imagine Frigga visiting Heimdall and they have tea and gossip about how much a mess Odin is.
Hiemdall: *plopping into Friggas parlour and already reaching for the cup Frigga is passing him* Lemme tell you what wild shit your sons are doing in Alfhiem
Hiemdall rollerblading into the throne room this week with sunglasses and a piña coloda: Your Majesty, you’re not going to fucking believe this stuff your son brought back from Midgard.
Frigga, iceskating down the bifrost with three bottles of tequila wearing a mini cape from a midgardian children’s dracula costume: Heimdall, my good bitch, I have news.
THIS IS THE BEST DASH COINCIDENCE I HAVE EVER SEEN
Thor: Why are you naked Loki?
Loki: I don’t have any clean garments.
Thor: Oh really? *opens closet.* Look, pants, shirts, socks, Hello Bucky, jackets, armor.
If you don’t love me at my
Then you don’t deserve me at my
WhatsApp conversations with Loki late at night, Part I. I just had to make this.
Loki: I am burdened with glorious purpose bla bla.
Fury: Wait, let’s get one thing clear: Are you here to conquer us?
Loki: Um, yes?
Fury: Thank God. We surrender.
Loki, investigating a dangerous area: Hellooooooo, is anyone there?
Loki, checking a body: Dead.
Loki, checking another body: Dead…
Loki, checking yet another body: Also dead…
Loki, popping back out: They’re all dead!
Loki: –and it’s NOT MY FAULT!
Kate: NO ONE SAID IT WAS!