heteromanticmarkiplier:

There’s four kinds of gays.

  1. “I want to live in a huge high rise apartment with my future partner that looks over the whole city so I can see the city lights at night”
  2. “I want to live in a secluded little cottage in the woods with my partner, surrounded by woodland and nature, so that we wake up to the sounds of animals in the morning”
  3. “I want to live by a beach so that my future partner and I can take long walks at sunset and go swimming in the waters whenever we want”
  4. Lesbian farmer aspirations

wait i’m all of these

abananaphone:

Me: No, I’m not going to write a sequel to my fanfic. I’m just going to finish it and let it be done.

My brain: Well, that’s a shame, because I have this really great idea…

Me: … Go on …

judgingbooksbycoversonline:

Me: “As a gay woman, why do I have so few femslash otps?”

Other Me: “Maybe it’s because female characters are rarely written with enough depth for you to invest in them emotionally, causing a lack of strong female relationship options.”

Me: “Damn.”

kortopis:

bisexual culture is being very specific with the men you’re interested in but having absolutely no type when it comes to girls because they’re all so beautiful

Me: ^writes/reads awful death and torture fics about Loki
Me: I love torturing my faves ok?
Marvel: ^shows one frame in the trailer with slightly sweaty Loki
Me: first of all, how fuckin dare you…

Who channeled me

incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Tony: I’m not afraid to be alone with my thoughts. My thoughts are awesome!
Tony: …
Tony: Die Hard 6 on a cruise ship, pizza bagel restaurant …my father never loved me and I’m gonna die alone… Oh boy, that happened fast.