stunt-muppet:

derinthemadscientist:

librarian-amy:

scanlan:

susiephone:

wearevengeancenow:

nerdgasrnz:

inspectorwired:

movie tropes that will never get old to me:

  • a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back
  • fourth wall breaking
  • “give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets
  • *a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen
  • alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice
  • “fuck you” “well if you insist”

#alternatively alternatively: *terribly loud crash w/ sirens and cat screeching*#person: *off camera* ‘I’M OKAY’ (via @zenlida)

character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X

  • the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
  • people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
  • alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
  • bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
  • someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
  • choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
  • the “hands go down” trope
  • example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*

how could all y’all forget “ACT NATURAL!”

These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon

i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression

adamussutekh:

I just wanna let y’all know that you do fanfic tropes all of the time, we just don’t describe them like beginning writers do. You:

  • Push your shoes off with your toes or with the tip of your shoe, most likely. Props for drama if you yank your converse or your vans or your boots off like a soldier in a scyfi drama, but otherwise, you’re “toeing your shoes off”
  • Humans are much better at dissecting scents than we give ourselves credit for. If you sit there long enough, you could dissect how your friend smells. I smell like “old, beat up cars, the sour citrus he isn’t supposed to have, and something musty and natural and unique to him that clings to all of his clothes.” In order that’s old flannel, three day old hair mousse, and fish tank water. Smells like cigarettes and oils cling to your clothes, stuff like fishtanks and the food in your kitchen seeps into your belongings. Don’t feel bad about describing scents, people carry our houses with us everywhere. 
  • Have you ever pet someone else’s hair? That’s “carding your fingers through.” That’s it. It’s the same thing.
  • Ever walked around barefoot? Its three am and you’re trying to make Dark Lunch? You’ve padded around. You signal to other people nonverbally whether its coughing or sighing that you’re there so that you don’t scare them. 
  • Smirking is a thing most of us do with our face. Grinning, looking cheeky, and raising our eyebrows are also all things your face does. Sorry :/
  • You might not get this if you’re a straight girl whose never had sex, but sometimes that little strip of skin between ya shirt and ya hips? The mouth can go there. That’s an intimate place to touch and its a vulnerable place to be exposed. Overused maybe, but a valid way to show a shift in the situation. 
  • We all sigh!! Are some of y’all really saying that sighing isn’t a thing you do ten thousand times a week?? You don’t sigh when someone says something stupid as shit?? You don’t sigh when you gotta get up?? 
  • SAID IS A VALID WORD
  • Everything on your face casts shadows, I’m sorry you have weak eyelashes, or that somehow your brows are flat with your eyeballs
  • People laugh silently! I’m sorry you’ve never laughed that hard!! People giggle! People snort! People double over and move and flail! Have you ever fucking laughed?
  • For that matter how do y’all not blush and can you teach me
  • I’d also like to say sorry if: your heart has never skipped a beat reading something terrible, or when you saw someone you liked even platonically, or if you’ve never been so surprised all you could do was blink, that you never looked at someone like you loved them, and that you somehow never fucking show any emotion in your voice or your posture at all

Tl;Dr: Some of y’all are dragging people for shit you don’t know how to describe and damn if you ain’t still reading things and then telling beginning writers that they’re describing impossible things and writing weirdly when y’all don’t even write shit, its obnoxious as hell. To y’all that do write and are aggressively against this post, I bet you sure as hell use EPITHETS INAPPROPRIATELY ANYWAY, DON’T YA?

people: good writing avoids cliches
me, cramming every known trope into my work: I know what I’m about

whattacoffeecat:

airyairyquitecontrary:

if there’s one thing I’ve learned from fiction it’s this

if you’re eavesdropping and hear people talking about you and they say something upsetting

make sure you stay and hear the conversation to the end don’t just run off into the night  you dumb chucklefuck

THIS IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING TROPE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET

feynites:

Man I have never known straight dude writers to shy away from putting out stuff like ‘my thinly-veiled self-insert goes on a mediocre adventure but more importantly ends up in a love quadrangle with these four female characters who are all incredibly hot to me’, but most of the lady writers I know get nervous if they write one (1) love story where *gasp* two whole dudes compete for the same lady’s love!

So listen.

Listen.

Go out and give your warrior witch lady a magic talking panther that flies and five hot elf boyfriends (or girlfriends, or datemates, whatever) who all happily share her. Or fight over her. Whichever. Make each of them as smoking hot as you please. Indulge yourself. Live.

And this goes absolutely double for WoC and trans ladies and queer ladies and everyone else who has extra troubles with being shamed for your indulgence.

If you’re going to worry about stuff in your story it should be things like ‘is that trope racist?’ or ‘how do I fix this plot hole?’, not ‘am I putting in too many elements that I personally enjoy?’

aprilwitching:

pipistrellus:

i dont know why every like, forced bedsharing fic is always AND THEN, DESPITE THEIR ATTEMPTS TO KEEP TO THEIR OWN SIDES OF THE BED, THEY WOKE UP IN A TENDER EMBRACE like

have any of you ever… ever shared a bed, with anyone,

#despite their attempts to keep to their own sides of the bed ONE OF THEM SOMEHOW THREW ALL THE PILLOWS ON THE FLOOR#STOLE THE BLANKETS#AND FORCED THE OTHER PERSON TO MASH THEMSELVES IN BETWEEN THE BED AND THE WALL.